How can I help my friend in an abusive marriage?

It's both physically and psychologically abusive. As I have gotten to know her, I see now that her life is a living hell. The ';honeymoon'; periods are very short; the bad times are almost constant. She is always anxious. She drinks to numb her pain. He has hurt her physically to the point of needing treatment in the ER (this was before I knew her).





When I ask her why she stays, she says, ';I have no money. I have no other place to live. I don't want to lose my kids.';





How can I help her? This is breaking my heart.How can I help my friend in an abusive marriage?
It's pretty tough. Abused women will make excuses for not getting help, and often say the abuse is their fault and they deserve it!!!!. Making sure her kids have shelter and care is a problem. Often the abusive mate can take the kids back!!! She abandoned them. The argument works with the cops and the courts. If you force the issue, and report the abuse, you wil become her enemy, and she will hate you forever even though you have done her and her kids a BIG favor.How can I help my friend in an abusive marriage?
1st does she want your help





2nd Have you considered the alcohol is a significant contributing factor,,, I'd suggest alcoholics anonymous as a starting point.





3rd, money or not , the court system is horrifically biased in women's favor,, if she leaves ,he will be forced to pay her way.





4th The court system is horrifically biased in women's favor,, unless she is an unfit mother ,she will get custody of the kids.





And I say again,, does she want your help ? or are you butting into a dysfunctional situation that does not welcome you ?
Get her the **** out of there, NOW. Contact a shelter as others have said and go. Call the cops and file a report. Then contact a lawyer.Worry about help for the alcohol problem later.





Tell her if she stays he will eventually kill her. Trust me. I've seen it happen over and over again. Ask if she wants him to raise her kids? So she has no money. Join the club. She could either be dead with no money or alive with no money. Take your pick.
Hasn't she got any relatives she could go to? What about her parents? If I had a child who was being abused, I would take them in without even thinking about it. The same if it was a friend. Could she come and stay with you? Or isn't there a battered wives shelter she could go to? she shouldn't have to put up with this.
she has to WANT to leave or it won't work. She can contact a women's shelter or use an abuse hotline and they will get her housing, food and a job until she can get back on her feet. you might be able to do some of the research for her on resources. Start with your phone book
Contact a woman's shelter in your neighborhood, they can give you more information. They will help your friend get out of her abusers home and find resources for her. If you don't know where to look call your local hospital, they can help.
Put her in touch with the local women's shelter.
report him