Is expecting a man to practice sexual fidelity in a marriage, even rational?

Recently, a YA answerer said ';I can't help but feel women often make too much of infidelity. A lifetime is a long time, and sexual fidelity proved not to be that important to me';.





She said this after her husband had cheated on her and she forgave him. Do you agree with her?





Does our society place too much emphasis on fidelity but then open the door wide for infidelity?Is expecting a man to practice sexual fidelity in a marriage, even rational?
Different people have different ideas, and we should all allow for that. I honestly don't think we are programmed, biologically speaking, for lifetime monogamy. Millions of years of evolution vs thousand of years of religious constraint? Biology has a big lead. But some people follow societal norms without complaint.


I don't think it's limited to men - I can say for myself, having been married and single, I do get more enjoyment out of life when I can play that wonderful game of seduction and get that rush of adrenaline and endorphins that comes with it.


For me, the marriage fell apart for unrelated reasons and I never had the need or occasion to ';cheat';. But I can see where in some instances people may choose to keep an otherwise viable union in place and have an open relationship where casual, recreational sex with others doesn't threaten the marriage.


The woman in question, rather than just look the other way, may want to consider acknowledging and accepting her husbands ';infidelity'; openly and then get some of her own.


Bottom line, relationships have many facets, monogamy being one of them. Of all the other things people are willing to overlook, why should this one be any different?Is expecting a man to practice sexual fidelity in a marriage, even rational?
I think expecting a partner who promised to be faithful should be expected to honour that. But it's all down to personal opinion. Some people cannot forgive and forget. Others can because they value other aspects in the relationship more.





Whether it says anything about society or not I don't know because this is one woman's opinion. At the end of the day a lot of people forgive but not because sexual fidelity is ';not important'; but because they want the relationship to work and a single act of indiscretion is less important than that.
i think that society places to much emphasis on a general understanding of marriage.





everyone's relationship is different. some people have those open relationships and are completely happy that way. others have the understanding that their relationship is off limits to everyone else, and that's fine too.





like she said, fidelity proved to not be that important to ';her.'; her relationship is a little more open, and that okay.





my relationship with my husband is with my husband only, and that's okay.





not every relationship has to be the same. If you watch the Episode on penn and teller's ';bullshit'; show on traditional american family i think it sends a great message. they pretty much just say that each couple's relationship is their own, and whatever they make of it is their business and if they're happy, then it shouldn't matter to anyone else.





and i think that makes a great point.
Who cares what society thinks about it. When it happens to you, the only people that it should concern are you and your spouse.





I personally believe that a lot of marriages have a severe imbalance in sexual needs. This is not always the man wanting or needing more gratification. So you have three choices. Either you deal with it as it is, and get whatever intimacy is offered; secondly you learn and develop self pleasuring skills; and lastly you find someone to compliment your needs.
I personally think sex with another woman does not have to be ';infidelity.';





My husband has my blessing to have personal friendships with women and also to occasionally have sex with women. But not with the same women. The sex part has to be with women he does not have an ongoing relationship with, like a one-night stand.





I would be jealous and insecure if he were having sex with a woman he was close to. Safe but wild sex with a hot chick he picks up in a bar doesn't bother me, in fact it turns me on when he tells me about it.





He does not feel the same way about me being with another guy and that's okay too. As long as I am satisfied at home, all other men will only be in my fantasies.
I think our society places too much emphasis on fidelity from the WRONG perspective. As in, the blame is almost always solely placed on men.





I don't think women have a clear idea of what sex means to a man, especially in a committed relationship. Women think intimacy is all about words and actions (i.e. saying ';I love you'; incessantly, surprise gifts, etc) whereas men feel intimacy mostly in the act of lovemaking.





Women will say this is a cope out, but I don't think it is. Men feel closest to their partners when their making love to them. So when a man strays from his lady, he isn't necessarily doing it because he doesn't love her or doesn't find her attractive (although these are definitely reasons a man might cheat). He might cheat because he doesn't feel you love him anymore, or he doesn't feel he can be intimate with you anymore (and I don't be intimate as in sex, I mean intimate as in show you sides of him nobody else gets to see).





Bottom line: men aren't the only one's blame for infidelity. If your man cheats, you need to ask yourself how you contributed to it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't dump his ***, it just means you need to sack up and figure out if you are partly responsible for this situation.
Whoever said that is foolish in my opinion, of course it's rational, if a man (or woman) feels like having one sexual partner is not something they can handle, then DON'T get married, they had the choice to do so, so they should honor that choice.
If you are married or even in a relationship there is no reason to ever cheat and infedeltiy should not be tolerated it is not only dangerous with all the STD's out there but its just disrespectful if you are with me then i should be enough you should be happy with what you get from me ya know... but tis a two way streeet women need to keep it fun and interesting for their men after 25 years of marriage things get old :) spice it up :) play games, weird places, experiment





But cheating is wrong point blank


if my bf/husband ever cheated on me it would be over and his *** would be kicked out :)
Marriage is about committment. Now on the other hand if both parties are in agreement for an open marriage than the love an committment are still both there you both just feel comfortable keeping you single lives alive as well.





Most lifestyles like this are very difficult to maintain because of jealousy, but can happen.
there are always exceptions but for the most part a guy happy with his wife and marriage can stay faithful throughout the marriage.





a guy not feeling wanted or getting enough sex multiplies the risk of him cheating significantly. i dont care if anyone thinks those are ';valid'; reasons to do it but those are reasons he will so if you are a young wife out there take heed. keep him happy (and of course hopefully he'll do the same for you) and unless you've married a true skirt chaser then he should be good through eternity.
Ladies you can keep your man from cheating, its the penis, it builds up pressure, relieve that pressure and it will be ok, you can use all the tools you have to do this, even your hand and it only takes a few minutes and he will thank you, don't, I repeat don't leave the penis with too much pressure, because men are visually stimulated and if another woman looks good and he has pressure build up, well thats not good.
very rational! If a person has an affair then they should have never gotten married cause their views on what a marriage is or means is jaded.





Yes a lifetime is a long time, but if you truely take your vows seriously and live up to your commitment to your vow then its a beautiful thing.





Our society has taking marriage for granted and its now an organization of sexual desires. Never, take your marriage for granted.
I believe it should be up to the two people involved where that line is drawn. If someone wants to accept it and forgive, that is their choice and I hope it works out for them. However, personally I will not accept anything less than 100% loyalty. And I give the same. Cheat on me once, it'll be your last time and I won't regret having to leave because I would know the true integrity of the person I had attached myself to.
Being faithful to your spouse is hard nowadays. However, sexual fidelity is a must in order to build intimacy and trust. Sure, some marriages ';work'; despite infidelity. But I doubt it is an avenue that should be taken if u want your marriage to last.
Here's the thing - I don't agree with her. I mean, if someone doesn't want to be monogamous, that's all fine, but don't get married then! The whole point of committing to someone is exactly that - commitment. I personally would never forgive my man for cheating on me....
In my marriage, we both place a very high value on fidelity. I could care less what the rest of society wants to do or thinks anyone ';should'; do. What works for us is monogamy. It's a vow we took together. I do not agree with that answerer in the least.
Yes it is possible. If a man feels it is not for him, he either should not be married or find a woman that is completely ok with that. Even then I have a feeling it still wouldn't work. Everyone, men and women, need to hold themselves to a higher standard.
I think that if you cant be faithful, then dont get married...period.





You know yourself better than anyone, if you dont think you can handle being faithful, then dont challenge yourself. It just ends up hurting someone in the end.
if your going to get married you need to be faithful. plain and simple. man or woman. if your just going to sleep around anyway, why bother getting married in the first place.
I believe marriage vows say ';forsaking all others'; or some such thing.


If guys don't want to be faithful--don't get married. easy as that.
With the growing numbers of husbands learning that their children are not really theirs, the same problem exist on women.
I don't know. Is expecting a woman to practice sexual fidelity in a marriage rational?
my husband and i are extremely committed to each other.





but now TRIXIE, on the other hand she is a whole different ball game..
Uh, yeah, isn't marriage about commitment
If the dog gets fed well at home, there's no reason for him to roam the neighborhood looking for scraps.
Yes a man should be faithful to his wife.
what's sexual fidelity mean anywayz??
if your man truly loves you he will never look elsewhere
I feel like i was in philosophy class. I mind as well earn credit's here
I AGREE WITH BIG J HE SHOULD B FAITHFUL U U R HIS WIFE...
Biologically....committing to one person is not even engrained in our brains. As a species, we are animals, made to procreate. The man though, will only procreate with one female at a time...but then then concept of fidelity goes out the window once there is a living spawn. Monogamy is something that has become popularized in our own culture...but is not the same around the world.


And religion is the only reason we take those specific vows at marriage.





That being said, Id kill my man if he cheated. But I also cannot deny science