What is the difference in the ways men try to solve problems vs. women in marriage?

We all have arguments in marriage, some more than others.





But I am curious in the different mentality/strategy men vs. women approach problems/arguments in marriage?





How do you and your spouse approach your problems?


When you argue, does one person usually leave or do both of you stay? Does one person yell or both yell?





What is the difference in the ways men try to solve problems vs. women?What is the difference in the ways men try to solve problems vs. women in marriage?
Husband is more to the point and practical. Wife thinks more of the emotional impact. Leaving does nothing to solve the argument nor does yelling (since you tend to tune out a person who is out of control and yelling anyway).





In solving problems, once he 'gets' the emotional aspect, she is more receptive of hearing the practical solution to the problem. In the end it is a compromise of the two.





Yelling never works. Did you really respect your parents and listen intently when they yelled at you?!? Sorry, but that approach never works.What is the difference in the ways men try to solve problems vs. women in marriage?
oh wow. No yelling..ever. If someone starts yelling, the other should say, ';Ill speak to you when you can talk to me like an adult';. Men like to fix, solve things, women like to talk about them and unload their emotional baggage on the man. This is a bad strategy because a man will become frustrated and ';tune you out'; because you shouldnt present a problem to him if he cannot solve it. We fix things, we do NOT like to talk about them and mull them over. You should read/or listen to this book on cd, Dr. Laura Schlessenger ';the proper care and feeding of a husband'; It will show you how to get what you want from your man AND how to make both of you much happier.





One thing my wife does that drives me nuts is she will not let a subject drop. Sometimes you gotta let both people cooloff before you can come to an agreement on something
The gerneral norm is women worry and men do not. I stress the general norm. So knowing this one could logically figure out that a man would simply shrug. Probably take the logical approach and not stress about it. Women on the other hand may continue to replay the issue over and over in their heads because they are worried. In the end it comes to a man trying to tell the woman to stop bringing it up all the time and she is upset because he ';doesn't want to talk about it.';
My Fiance' and I don't argue that much to begin with. I think that when we do tho, I tend to sulk where as she does not. I soon get over it and we move on. We never go to bed without a kiss and a hug and an I love you to one another. We solve our problems together as a team. I don't know what kind of problems that you are talking about tho. We are both level headed and that helps. usually I have to go to her and ask how to do this or how to solve this and so on. She is pretty sharp about figuring these things out.
Distilled to key-words; goal-oriented versus process-oriented.





In general:


Men process and find solutions; women talk and share experience.


See how alien those two things are put next to each other?
MEN DONT ALWAYAS YELL IF THE WOMEN STARTS TO YELL AND WONT STOP THE MAN WILL STAY AT A NORMAL VOICE. PLUS.. IF YOU JUST SIT DONE TOGATHER AND TALK NORMAL YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK IT OUT EASYER AND SAFER.
Men Love with their mind while women love with their heart and bypass all the common sense of the mind.
woman take more time,and usually just want to vent and get it all off there chest, men just want to find a solution
I'd like to say that men are more logical and women more emotional, but I know some guys who are just plain idiots so..





My wife's approach is simply to place the blame elsewhere. It always starts out my fault, if that doesn't work it's his or her fault, and if that doesn't work she'll do a brief ';I'm sorry'; routine and then expects it's done and over because after all she ';Lets go of the past, why can't I'; LOL. The past, sometimes decades ago is of course on of her favorite places to go to look for a way it's my fault. She will also along the way lie, lie, lie like a dog, change her story and then insist that she never lied, she just misspoke, or more likely I misunderstood.





So, her basic strategy begins and ends with she's good and right and I'm bad and wrong, and she's willing to go down with the ship rather than admit it could be any other way.





My strategy is reason and logic. I attempt to corner her and show how unreasonable she's being. I demonstrate undeniably her lies and prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the pot is calling the kettle black.





The net result is always that I have to just let it pass. What am I going to do, divorce her over it and look like an ***? So in my old age I'm getting better and better at just not bringing things up and letting her do as she pleases. I stopped asking where the money went and switched to how much do you need a couple of years ago and that helped a lot.





As far as problem solving, I'm logical and methodical. She emotionaly lashes out at it and then dumps it in my lap. After I fix it she gripes about how I do it sometimes but generally she's moved on by then to something else so I don't even get kudo's





So basicaly the score is something like her; 1,499,954 me 7. Something like that. I've given up on the notion of improving that and just trying to survive the game.





Of course she'd tell you something completely different. In her version it would ba all me and all my fault.





Good question, star for you.