I'll be 22 in four months, I'm still a virgin, and I've had to let a couple of guys go from my life over the whole sex before marriage thing. I'm a Christian and that actually has very, VERY little to do with my reasons because I believe you can do far worse, spiritually, than have sex with someone before marriage.
I'm waiting because I don't believe that sex should be the contributig factor to a meaningful relationship. I'd imagine that you can have great sex with any number of people that you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with.
Furthermore, I think it's awfully shallow for a person to base a judgment about the success of a relationship on sex. The ';try it before you buy it'; argument is silly, in my opinion. You cannot compare a human being to a cookie or a car! So you all mean to tell me that you would break up or leave a person that you emotionally connected with and truly cared for because of bad sex? Really? That's a shame.
My reasons for not having sex are few and simple:
1.) I don't have the desire to have multiple partners. Some people say that they can't imagine the thought of having sex with only one person for the rest of their lives. I can't imagine the thought of having sex with a person, and mentally comparing them to someone else.
2.) I don't believe in casual sex. Nobody in the world can convince me that two people can just have sex and at least one of them is not emotionally effected. I just just don't buy the idea of ';no strings attatched';. I don't want to chance have sex with someone, we end up breaking up, and I have to battle left over feelings and all that jazz. Even ';friends with benefits'; rarely works out because someone ends up catching feelings. It's inevitable.
3.) STDs. That's self explanitory. Bottom line, I don't want to end up burning and given the age we're living in where almost everyone is having sex, it's a reality that I'm going to have to face anyway because I'll probably end up married to someone who has been sexually active. Better believe homeboy WILL be tested.
4.) Pregnancy. Literally half of the girls of my graduating class have kids. It might be more than that. I've got to much going on to worry about a diapers and formula.
I have no problems with not having sex before I get married. And the guys that I've been involved with that do quickly find themselves uninvolved with me. Sex doesn't equate love. It enhances it, perhaps, but I want to know that you're in a relationship for me and not because of the sex. I think people have lost sight of that.
I've tried to leave religion out of my answer, but I will say this: sex was meant to take place within the confines of marriage for all of the reasons that I've listed.
And that's how I feel!How do you feel about sex before marriage?
I think for marriage minded people its a mistake, because it often takes you down a path you weren't interested in traveling.
**EDIT** For the people who put so much importance on sex before marriage, how would you like it if people started turning you down for marriage just because you werent the ultimate fantasy in the bedroom? I guess your selfish attitudes will come back to get you later! What ever happened to love and acceptance?How do you feel about sex before marriage?
Neither had we. ';Necessity';? Like Toothpaste? :O
Although I wouldn't say it's exactly a neccesity, I do think a couple should know if they are compatiable. I believe in no sex before love.
go for it! is how i feel!
it all depends on what your meaning of marriage is!
if your super into your faith and it says not to and you do then that's a sin!
Depends on if you truley love the person, not like a one night stand sort of thing.
It's even more important than the melon and prosciutto before the filet mignon and Pinot Noir.
Cheaper, though.
I think it is very strange to marry someone without knowing if you are sexually compatible. Marriage is a big commitment and usually intended to be a permanent one. Would you marry someone without knowing you were intellectually or emotionally compatible? So why is sexual compatibilty considered less important?
You should know that if you and your partner have very different sex drives, sexual desires and kinks, they are much more likely to cheat in order to fulfil these urges that you don't share.
Sex before marriage is up to each and every individual
its ok but its always a bit rushed . You should never make the bride late, thats just bad manners
I think it feels good.
Wouldn't you rather taste the cookies before you commit to buying a life time supply... I certainly would. I don't want a life time supply of cookies if I don't even like them. What if they make me ill or leave a bad taste in my mouth? Then I will be stuck with an *** load of cookies that I don't want and have the headache of trying to get rid of, which if they are nasty cookies that will be pretty difficult as well.
I think it's quite quick to jump on sex before marriage. Like, afterward, it's not going to be anything new if you already done it. Some people do regret it later on.
Sex is love , and love is sex , marriage have nothing to do with love.Its just a public formality and public show, its like approval from public for you to make a legal and ethical romance. But I say marriage have nothing to do with love and sex.
I feel it keeps people from rushing into things. I KNOW some people used to get married just so they could have sex with a clear conscience.
I think that sex is something precious that is meant to be saved for marriage. Hubs and I were both virgins on our wedding night. And guess what? We are sexually compatible! Imagine that! Sleeping around isn't a necessity. It is a hard-to-control urge, but nobody even wants to try to control it these days. That's why we have STDs.....
Seriously, I think the whole ';test drive'; answer is a lame excuse that people use to justify their lust and their lack of self-control. ';Sexually compatible';....don't make me laugh! If the two of you are capable of very open communication and a little bit of ';putting the other's needs before your own';, you will be compatible. It ain't rocket science. And to the lady who said that it's a shame that someone would break up a relationship because the sex wasn't quite up to par....I second that. How shallow.
***EDIT*** Pssst....Ronnie....you're wrong, dude! Sure, lots of wives give their husbands the cold shoulder....but not this wife. No sir....our marriage is passionate. I don't believe in punishing hubs for imagined slights by refusing affection. And he would never treat me so poorly either. If you marry a good woman, there will be lovin'.
It's a personal decision. I had sex before marriage and ended up marrying him. I just knew I could trust him and that he loved me before we ever slept together, that there was a point to our relationship outside of the sexual. That was my decision. I don't judge others for their decisions.
Whoever said that double standard about it being normal for men and digusting for women totally repulses me!
Anyways I think in todays society almost all people have premartial sex.
Heh. And I mean really... would you buy a car before test driving it? I didnt thinkkkk soooo..... ;) ha
I believe sex should be part of any serious relationship. I do not believe in casual sex or one night stands.
Being sexually compatible is important to a marriage. I would hate to find out that me and my mate were not compatible after we were wed.
I feel it's paramount to a sustainable relationship.
I think the increase in amount of unwed mothers says it all.
These kids today are being sold a lie. Sex is great sex is good, so is fire. But play with fire, it can be tragic.
In spite of the kids knowing about birth control- they aren't using it. The girls really DO think the guys will love forever and take care of them and any baby.
Then it doesnt happen and then everyone is fighting, getting on the welfare system, the kids aren't being raised right...
No, people ought to wait. I gave my sons the talk- You go think REAL hard about having sex with any girl unless you think you can put up with her for the rest of your life... cause married to her or not,you make a baby and she will never get her paws out of your life.. it can ruin your future!
Same with the girls. But it seems they aren't as enlightened as they ought to be.
I've never seen any problem with it. If someone wants to wait, that's fine, but I'm sure as hell not going to be one of them.
Well - it's not for everyone, but I think it is necessary these days.
';You don't buy the car without taking it for a test drive!'; Samantha - Sex and the City
EDIT - Like I said - it's not for everyone.
Judge not lest ye be judged, my people.
EDIT #2 - Sex has nothing to do with love and marriage, and I think people put too much emphasis on it so they can judge others (which it seems as though why this question was asked; to put those of us down who DID have sex before marriage and tout us as chicks with low morals).
I'm also not saying that sex is the end all be all of whether or not you GET married (I've been married 11 years by the way, and he had sex with others before me).
But a marriage isn't much of a marriage without it. So you know - to each your own.
I'll let God be the judge of me though, m'kay?
Better have it now because as we all know it, there is no sex after marriage.
You have plenty of answers to that question, and really it's a question of whether you feel it is wrong morally or not.
It doesn't seem wrong to me.
More surprising, I think is that Muslim martyrs are promised something like 76 virgins when they go to heaven. I am not sure how they reconcile this with their religious belief in not having sex before marriage - are they to marry all 76 of them? And what of the virgins themselves - it's not going to be much fun sharing one martyr between 75 other virgins.
for a man, normal.
for a woman, total disgusting, a woman is supposed to stay pure until marriage.
How happy the man who marries a beautiful decent pure virgin lady!
if she has had sex with one or more guy, then she is used good and not fit for a wife.
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