How much fighting is too much in a marriage?

My mom got remarried and it seems like her and my stepdad fight way too much... They can't spend even one hour with each other before getting into some stupid arguement. I might just be over reacting because I've lived with my mom as a single parent for so long but sometimes I can't help but be rude to my stepdad... I really don't think I have any respect for him.How much fighting is too much in a marriage?
My partner and i dont fight. I think a raised voice has happened all of about 3 times in the time we have been together. we have three kids. and yes. we disagree. but never ever ever in front of the children. and when we talk about it that is just it. we talk. we discuss the issue calmly. i think a fight every day is way to much. one a week is still to much. i dont know if i would even go for one a month.


as a younger person in the home you should not be rude to your step dad. like him or not your mom seems to have liked him at one point. you dont have to like him. but respect him. otherwise you could be one of the things they fight about. this may make you feel good but its not good. be civil. when they fight. go to another room. its none of your business.


if he were being abusive to her. that would be a whole different story. but they are adults and have to learn on their ownHow much fighting is too much in a marriage?
It does sound like they are fighting alot. Try speaking to your Mum about it and express your concerns to her in a heartfelt diplomatic way. Or speak to your step dad, or both of them. Arguing all the time is not good for any of you. All that stress and negative energy takes its toll and has a negative effect and raises the stress levels - not a good environment to be in. I used to be rude sometimes when I was younger to my Mums boyfriend. It wasn't even like he did anything wrong and I never heard them arguing but I suppose looking back on it, I didn't like the fact that he wasn't my Dad. He wasn't my dad and I didn't want my Mum with anyone other than my dad. Thats natural I suppose for any child to feel like that but I do feel bad now that I gave him a hard time sometimes. Respect is something that has to be earned, has he doing anything to earn your respect. Arguing with your Mum all the time is certainly not going to help you feel respect for him. Talk to them about it if you can,communicate how you feel. maybe they don't realise how bad its got. They may have somehow got into the habit of falling out with one another but it may not be what they want either. You could be the catalyst to getting them sorted again. Your Mum and him must have got on well at the beginning or else surely she wouldn't have married him. Good luck!
You don't have respect for him because you watch your mom belittle him infront of you. Hard to respect someone when they are getting carped all over publicly. How embarassing for her poor husband.





This amount of fighting is too much, and it sounds like unfair fighting too. Your mom doesn't sound like a very good wife to me, if she respected/loved this man, she would talk to him in a calm manner in private.
Respect your elders regardless. Don't insert yourself into your mother's marriage. Then instead of dealing with the problem they will make you the problem and it will stress you and your mother's relationship. Hope everything works out for you and your blended family.
It will last as long as she can stand it. Not saying not to say anything about it because you love her, but she'll figure it out. If you hate him all you need to be is civil for her sake. If he's really abusing her then step in, but most times the people in the marriage need to figure this out for themselves. Good luck
I guess when it gets to be to the point of really being annoying. .....Besides, that can't be fun for either one of them. 鈾モ櫏
I have a wife that has two sons from her first marriage, and as a step dad, I can say, your part of the problem.
The fact you are asking that tells me its probably too much. Talk to your mum about how you feel honey.
As much as you are willing not to take..
hi There,


i have been in your moms shoes in that i have remarried with 3 of my own kids and my new hubby no kids. for the first few years we fought quite a lot and sometimes we still have the occassional spat with each other although not nearly so bad or often, and that will be due to my lack of submission and trying to bail the kids out which i know i ought not to do so is my own fault, but we are growing. I personally believe its very hard for a once single mother who during her times being single we become very independant not needing to answer to anyone and can do as we see fit. for the new husband/father he seems to live in an unrealistic world that he is now head of the house and that people should do as he sees fit. The truth lays in the middle. The ideal is that the father/husband is the head of the house but he must come to realise this will take time for the children and wife who are scared of being hurt and feel they must defend themselves. he must allow them time to trust him that he wont abuse his authority by not allowing them some individuality where they can express their feelings and opinions without being controlled or condemned. If the woman feels afe in her environment where thoughts and feelings are respected hen different to his, she will naturally desire to submit to his leadership and authority in the home. He must first win trust to get what he wants. If both are willing to do their part it an work out and the fighting will stop.


On the other hand your mother needs to understand he needs respect in the home to be the leader without always being undermined by the mother and child ganging up on him that he is doing everything wrong. when wifes have the approach of my way or the high way a man is disrespected and will not feel lovingly toward you both. your mum must show respect and keep her mouth shut and not defend you kids every minute if that is whats happening. she must first support her husband not the kids and this will please him and he will be much nicer to live with.


I suggest you share this posting of yours and this answer to them.


God bless