What does it take to have a strong marriage?

I am very interested to hear especially from ones who's been married for a long time. Any GrandDad and GrandMums around? :)





I've had only one GrandMa but we never sat down and talked about stuff like this. She was great at teaching me how to be ahardworker though. She didn't say much but her actions were full of love and devotion. One of the hardworking %26amp; sweetest woman I've ever met!What does it take to have a strong marriage?
Marry your best friend, because when all the other stuff gets boring %26amp; tiresome you will still be left with someone you can talk to.





Marry someone that thinks you are sexy -even on those days when you wake up so late and resort to having to spray Febreze on your crotch and armpits and run.





Marry someone that thoroughly enjoys making you happy and turning your frown upside down.





Marry someone that will not hesitate to change diapers, cook, wash dishes, do laundry, or go to the drugstore to buy you tampons.





Marry someone that's an open book, tells you everything about themselves (even the embarassing stuff like: (he lost his virginity at 27 or he's afraid of the dark) and never never would lie to you.





Marry someone that puts you first, ahead of everyone, even his dear mother.





Marry someone that respects you, thinks your smart and takes your advice -when its good.





Marry someone that wants to talk, wont walk away when angry, admits their faults, talks fights through and doesnt stay mad for longer than an hour.





Marry someone that children gravitate to, someone that sits on the floor and plays for hours and gives piggyback rides upon request.





It dosent matter what he looks like, (looks fade) or how much his yearly salary is, (money cant buy love) If you found a MAN like this. Marry him before someone else does and instill those very qualities in yourself. Or he will eventually leave and find someone that does.





I married a man like this, so they ARE out there.





Good LuckWhat does it take to have a strong marriage?
Good family values (Not necessary religious either) Both partners have to take the vows of ';in sickness %26amp; health, for richer or poorer until death do us part'; seriously. Each has to be the other's best friend, communicate and hide no secrets, have shared responsibilty and the same goals. The love is so strong that each thinks of the other berfore themselves. Sex is important, but as you notice I didn't put it at the top of the list. In my family it seems that divorce doesn't exist, My two sons have been married 12 %26amp; 20 years,, My brother and sister have been married 50 years each, My other brother was married for 40 years before his wife passed away from breast cancer. My 9 nieces and nephews have been married from 15 to 28 years.
I think that commitment and communication are keys. I also think you should marry your best friend. The burning passion of youth pales somewhat over time, but if you genuinely enjoy each other's company and can laugh with each others and have at least some interests in common, then that connection can sustain love. Actually, I find that my passion for her waxes and wanes, but my respect and admiration for her, and the fact that I like her does not. I really do think that people who are together a long time end up falling in love with each other over and over again. But that suggests that we fall out of love now and again, as well. That's why it's important to be good friends as well as spouses. It's that friendship, plus the commitment to each other, that sustains the marriage until we fall in love with each other again.
I have been married for 28 years and not all of those are what you would say are happy years. Sometimes you have troubles and change is going to happen. If I could give you one word that sums a strong marriage it is sacrifice.You will sacrifice if you have a long lasting marriage and so will your spouse. People do not always have the same interest so you will do things for him and he will do things for you and sometimes you will do them when you do not want to. Sacrificial love is the greatest.
honesty and communication. remember that a marriage is WORK. you have to work at it everyday. communication is a biggie-if you don't talk about things it will never be resolved and you both will be unhappy. plus talking about things can lead to knowing each other more than you ever thought you would. my husband and i can finish each others thoughts. compromise is a big one too. you can't always have your way and neither can he. you have to find a happy medium . hope this helps.
Competence, self acceptance, a striving determinism, a self awareness of a need to find place in human service (more than one active role values), of valuable purpose, a concern for human-kinds future, a never ending quest for knowledge and wisdom, tolerant patient listening, method for each madness, medical science, faith in the creators competence for creating (even if you are an atheist evolutionist humanist) and good luck. Don't play the shame game and don't do guilt trips and watch for paranoia.





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http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/erikson.鈥?/a>





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I haven't been married for a long time, but I know it takes commitment, trust, communication, and a genuine like for one another.
To have a strong marriage there must be communication and also trust that is the most important thing in a marriage.
1) Communication (this means listening too)


2) Acting Selfless as often as possible
LOVE. communication. trust. honesty.





but mainly the love....
communication, Trust, faithfulness, Friendship and never stop dating your spouse,
Friendship and Integrity.
honesty, trust JOBS is all a start
communications, patience, tolerence and love of one's self.
Believe the best of each other. Don't expect the other to be able to read your mind, and learn how to communicate what you want and need in a loving way. Keep your sense humor intact, no matter what. The qualities you fell in love with may come hand in hand with qualities that annoy you. Deliberately choose to accept the whole package graciously, because that's how personalities are. Don't whine. Have fun, on purpose, and don't expect fun to come naturally forever. It takes some effort. Always keep dating, even if you can only afford to go out and split a dessert, or trade babysitting so you can have time alone at home. Back each other up in public, you can discuss it privately later. Make sure you choose a mate that agrees with you on the most fundamental matters of faith and raising children and handling money.


Take responsibility for creating a positive atmosphere in your home. Do unto your spouse as you would have your spouse do unto you - with one caveat: learn your spouse's ';love language'; so that he/she perceives what you do as affection: some thrive on touch, others on thoughtful gifts, others on being praised, others on acts of service, and so on. Do what makes your spouse feel loved, and teach your spouse how to make YOU feel loved, too. Any problem can be worked out if both people see that working things out is the only option.
1. Don't sweat the small stuff.


for her: If an action or statement can be taken two ways, and one of them hurts your feelings, he meant the other one.


for him: She isn't trying to annoy you. She just wants to connect, and just about anything you say will make her feel connected, if you really mean it.





2. 90% of success is showing up. Go home after work. Be ';there'; when you are there, not thinking about where else you would rather be.





3. Don't have kids until you know each other really really really well. Talk about it before you marry. Don't expect to talk someone into having kids OR to talk them out of having kids after the wedding bells.





4. Change happens. Try to make it happen in the same directions. Find interests you can share, and put effort into those interests. She doesn't have to become an expert in fly fishing and he doesn't have to become an interior design expert, but she can take up sketching outdoor scenes while he fishes and he can take a little pride in making and putting up some great floating shelves for her.





5. Men, she is going to change physically after you marry. Embrace that. If you can not accept the changes age brings, you might not be ready to marry yet. Women, he will not automatically change just because you get married. If you don't like something important, and you think that he'll change if he loves you, you might not be ready to marry yet, either.





6. Love isn't something you find. It's something you do. If you want love to last, you have to behave lovingly. You have to make loving choices. You need to get up and clean when you don't feel like it, go to work when you don't like it, and support one another even when someplace else might be more fun. Love is an attitude and an action, not a package you open up on your wedding day.





7. Forgive. He didn't mean it. Neither did she. Learn to fight fair. No name calling, and no bringing up stuff that happened on your third date.Learn to say what hurts your feelings without getting mad or getting even.





8. Learn how your partner says ';I love you.'; It may not be with words.


(Saying it is also great, so get in the habit of saying it often and unprovoked.)





9 Learn how your partner talks over important issues.


For her - Men often ';talk'; over tasks. If you really want a heart to heart with him, help him fix the fence in the back yard or paint the dog house. For him, she doesn't want you to fix her problems. She wants you to understand them, to hear her, and to support her when she decides how best to handle them.





9. Keep learning about one another. Listen. When your partner is talking, don't think about what YOU are going to say next, but listen to what your partner is saying NOW. Ask more questions than you make statements.





10. Stay fit, eat right, and sleep enough. It's hard enough to get along with another human being when you both feel well. If either of you is out of sorts, it is that much harder.





11. Stay close, physically. Touch each other without an expectation that the touch will turn erotic. Sometimes it will, and of course revel in that, but just being in the habit of touching will be important to you when you are older.








12, Be honest. It's okay to voice an opinion different from the one your partner holds, but really keep hurtful opinions to yourself.





13. Try to solve problems, not win fights. Remember that you want ';win-win'; in the relationship, not ';win-lose.'; Learn to compromise and make plans you can both accept.





14. Once you have kids, put them first with the following caveat: don't forget who you were before you had kids. You fell in love. Keep that loving relationship happy because providing a loving family is the best thing you can do for your kids.





15. Don't be afraid to get help if you need it. Take parenting classes. Read ';Marriage'; books. This stuff is learned skill. Don't assume that you should know how to do it or that if you don't, you are a failure. You have a brain. Use it to improve, regardless of where the lesson comes from.








I've got more, but my husband just said he thinks it's time for bed, and he's right.
Well, I was married to late husband for 28 years - it would probably be 41 by now if he were still alive.





I have known my current boyfriend for about 6 years now (we have lived together for the last 4 of them) and we both know we are a permanent - rest-of-our-lives couple. (The only reason we are not officially married has to do with economics and insurance problems that won't go away till I finally retire - whenever that will be.)





For me, the answers have been simple:


%26lt;%26gt; ... Thoughtfullness and consideration - little acts of kindness are beyond measurable value!.


%26lt;%26gt; ... Respect for eachother's feelings - when your mate shows feelings you don't share, try to find something in your own life that creates the same feelings for you and make the connection that way. For instance, if your mate is terribly upset about a favorite piece of furniture getting damaged during a move, but you aren't, think of how you would feel something you cared the same amount about, had been broken instead.


%26lt;%26gt; ... Respect for eachother's individuality - Always understand and appreciate the fact that, no matter HOW close you two are, you are each separate individuals with separate minds, and separate souls.


%26lt;%26gt; ... Respect for eachother's humanity - Your mate is a PERSON - just like YOU! SHE is not a handy-dandy combo housecleaning machine and sex toy. HE is not a walking paycheck.


%26lt;%26gt; ... NEVER let your life together become a power-struggle or a win/lose game - Never imagine that a win for your mate is a loss for you! You are a TEAM - you are both on the SAME side! A win for one is a win for the other and a loss for one is a loss for the other. You win or lose TOGETHER, WITH eachother - NOT SEPARATELY, AGAINST eachother


%26lt;%26gt; ... NEVER take eachother for granted - Should HE thank HER for cooking dinner and washing up the dishes afterwards? Should SHE show real appreciation for HIM fixing that leak under the sink and mowing the lawn? YOU BET! Consider the alternative possibilities if you did not have a mate or if your mate were unable to do these things. You would have to do one of three things: 1. Do it yourself. 2. Hire someone to do it. or 3. Live with the consequences of it's not getting done at all. So you should DEFINITELY appreciate - and SHOW your appreciation - for those little everyday things your mate does!





There are a lot more such things I could list, but basically they all boil down to what someone once wisely named ';The Golden Rule'; That is, ';Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.';


This SHOULD, ideally, apply to every interaction with anyone throughout your life, but it is MOST VITALLY IMPORTANT to apply it to ALL ASPECTS of your relationship with your mate!