How can I stop flipping out over my marriage ending?

In a nutshell, my husband is leaving and that is the last thing I want, but I am trying to accept it. Most days I am able to function, go to work, and put on a happy face for the kids, but then I start thinking about the holidays coming up and how painful it will be without him and I totally lose it. I guess I am just looking for any uggestions as to how I can keep my cool and move on productively without hurting so bad. Thanks. = (How can I stop flipping out over my marriage ending?
You may have to go into some type of counseling. My husband planned ';his escape'; in a pretty mean way now that I look back on it. Hurt a lot of people, myself, our daughters, our two fantastic grandsons, the youngest being 28 months old and he has not seen or talked to our daughters for over 5 months now. The Hoildays are just around the corner, which use to be my favorite time of year, our 22nd wedding anniversary will be December24th. I am taking a vacation from all the upcoming holidays because I am having such a difficult time coping with his leaving. I have asked our daughters to please try to understand that this is so difficult for me in so many ways. They are being as supportive as possible but I feel that I am really letting them down because I am a PATHETIC AND WEAK excuse for a mother and grandma. I feel your pain and I wish there was some MIRACLE for those of us that are dealing with this horindous pain and heartache. I wish us all the best during this first year if ';FIRSTS';. First Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years and the list goes on. WE had 25 GREAT,NOT PERFECT, BUT GREAT YEARS TOGETHER. I HOPE THEY WILL BE AS DIFFICULT FOR HIM AS THEY ARE FOR ME.How can I stop flipping out over my marriage ending?
I like the first 3 answers too. Get you and the 3 kids involved with holiday decorating with any group of folks you like and your kids enjoy too. It might help to get involved with the kids school because trust me you will make friends with ladies that have walked in your shoes. Holiday costumes for halloween and if you are on a budget you can dig things from the closet and I bet family and friends will help out. heck I have a bunch of stuff and wish i can send them through the screen. On thanksgiving get that fat turkey (not the hubby), and make a nice dinner and turkey makes great leftovers for other meals too. At Christmas get involved in your kids school and church. You all will find comfort and fellowship with other mom's and kids. what ever you do , dont start dating right away because you are vulnerable and some men take advantage of a new divorcee and you need all the women friends you can get. I hope this helps and don't worry and hang in there because like it said here in Alaska the sun will be out soon and I see great things for you and your family. If you want encouragement keep in touch here with the regulars. Love and Joy for you and your family.
Well, although my husband and I were able to keep from getting to that point, we were pretty darn close. So I know the stress it can cause, and it's not easy to handle. On days where my son could see the tension in me, there was nothing I could do to hide it. So all I could do, and what I would suggest to you, is to be honest with your limitations. So not sure if the kids know you're divorcing yet. But if they do, and you flip out, just apologize after you've calmed down, and without bad mouthing their daddy, just say, ';I love you guys, but mommy is a bit sad over what's going on. And I'm not always going to be in the best of moods, because when people say good-bye to people they love, it's sometimes hard';. Or something like that. When my son knew his dad and I were fighting, ours was over my hubby's depression. Then I would just say, I'm sorry, daddy's depression and his moods have upset mommy. So I'm sorry I took it out on you, but I love you. And we would hug and cuddle. That at least let's your kids feel safe and secure with mom, and let's them know they didn't do anything wrong. It's normal what you're going through. So just do the best you can. Good luck. Working out always helped me to keep my sanity too.
Maybe you don't have to accept it.





According to some experts 95% of all marriages can be saved. If you follow an exact plan to get him back and keep him.





Find productive and creative things to do, creativity has a way to get the hurt out of your system, maybe gardening, painting.





Making mosaic's is a great relieve, every time you crush a tile and you create something beautiful, and lasting from it you seem to grow out of your pain.





Goodluck
church, bible, pastor.
I know your pain. I am going through the same thing.


My husband has been cheating and now he wants to leave me.





I am flipping out too, we have built a life together and been together for 8 years.


I am not coping well at all and I hate that he has made me feel so insecure.


The reality is I don't want him to leave and I want to save our marriage, but I don't think he is willing to...
you are going through a difficult time right now and it is going to take some time for you to get over it don't think about how hard it is going to be think of how fun you will have with your kids and spend some time with the people who love you
if he is leaving its for the better because you wouldn't want him to be there and not want to be who would want someone around because you force them you wouldn't feel wanted and loved and he would be cheating on you so its all for the better so just keep telling yourself that. Now as far as the holidays and other family times there are lots of plans you can start making get creative about things. Look to family and friends for some idea or suggestions many of women have been in your situation so there are lots of resources. And you can chat with people online I am available most nights to chat.
I would have to agree with the first answer
Sorry to hear this dear. I pray for you to keep your marriage for everyone's sake.





I don't know what the root of the problem is. But you can save this marriage. Look after yourself first, work out, go for walks, whatever makes you happy. Exercise releases endorphins, talk a bath. Pamper yourself, it will change your attitude, outlook to life.





Don't end this marriage, only to regret it later, for everyone's sake.





However you are more aware of your situation, you could be in an abusive relationship, i really don't know dear. But i am all for saving marriages if both husband and wife are not abusive.





Could it be that your life is in chaos, i mean the house, bad time management taking things out on the kids and hubby ?





I am not blaming you for anything at all, but we need to review our actions and be objective as much as we can.





Flylady is a really good website, who have had problems with time management in your housework and life in general, and this relects on everyone, and you first of all.





Sorry for the rambling, but if i could change the world, i would make sure that every marriage would last.





You are in all our prayers.





Wishing you all the best